True Biblical Friendship (Jonathan & David)
David, Part 8
By Pastor Matt Black
02
April 2008
Midweek Prayer Meeting
1 Samuel 18:1-5
Introduction: Tonight we are coming to the life of David and Jonathan and exploring what a true friendship looks like. During Saul’s selfish reign in Israel, we see the people of Israel keeping to themselves in a spirit of selfishness and fear. There is almost no record of any true friendships, outside of David and Jonathan. From what we can see, Saul himself had no concept or desire for friendship with anyone. He was setting a sad and selfish standard. Saul was a user. Every time we see him, he’s taking advantage of people and using them for his own self interest. How depressing it is to see such a friendless person!![1]
But in the first few verses of 1 Samuel 18, we get a glimmer of how powerful even one godly friendship can be—a friendship that is based on pure love for the Lord. Tonight it is exciting to get an Old Testament glimpse of the strong brotherly love that we take for granted in these New Testament times! John 13:35 reminds us of that which marks all true followers of the Lord Jesus Christ. “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”[2]
Love in Christ is the basis of all true pleasure in the heart and soul. You may have people you call friends, but unless Jesus Christ is living in them, you will not be satisfied with that friendship for very long.
So let’s stand and look at the most amazing friendship found in the pages of the Old Testament. We’re looking at 1 Samuel 18:1-5—at this remarkable introduction of David to this one who becomes his best friend in all the world, Saul’s son Jonathan.
Context: Here we have David having just killed Goliath, speaking with Saul. Jonathan and Saul’s General Abner are there in the background. Now just picture David standing there talking with Saul with Goliath’s sword in one hand and Goliath’s head in the other! After Saul and Abner leave, David and Jonathan kindle a friendship that is glorifying to God even to this very day. Let’s read about it.
Text: 1 Samuel 18:1-5, “And it came to pass, when [DAVID] had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father’s house. 3 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle [BELT]. 5 And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him, and behaved himself wisely: and Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.”
[Prayer for guidance]
Scripture and Theme: True friendship is based around a love for God and a commitment to please God. This is what God designed friendship for. Who your friends are will reveal exactly who you are.
Clarification: Now I’m not talking about evangelism and mentoring. The Lord was a friend to “publicans and sinners” (Luke 15:1). The purpose of those friendships is centered on how that person can be released from sin. Those friendships are either cut off because the person has no interest in Christ, or they continue for ever because the person comes to Christ. But that is a theme for another day.
What I’m talking about tonight are those friends you lean on and know you intimately.
With that in mind, tonight we are going to look at:
I. First, I want to give you what I call the Friendship Principle. It is found in James 4:4. Simply put, all friendships are based on a common love. All friendships are founded either on love for God or on idolatry.
A. The Apostle James tells us that your friendships reveal whether or not you know God. He says in James 4:4, “the friendship of the world is enmity with God…whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.” Your friends reveal who you are and what you love. Tonight all of you are either in love with the Lord Jesus Christ, or in love with the world. Your closest friends will reveal whether you truly have Christ living in you. When I say you are in love with the Lord Jesus Christ, I do not mean that you are sinlessly perfect, but you are not comfortable with sin. And if you don’t know the Lord Jesus Christ, you are very comfortable with sin. You may hide it; you may dress it up in spiritual clothes, but you love darkness rather than light because your deeds are evil.
Application: Let me just bring this down to earth. For those of you online, your Facebook page reveals more about you than your church attendance. Or for those of you who have no idea what Facebook is, your private letters, your emails and your phone conversations reveal more about you than the your profession in Christ. Is your burning love for Christ the center of your “table talk”?
What kind of company do you love to keep? What kind of conversations do you enjoy having?
B. In I John 1:7 the Apostle John goes even further and says our friendships with those who love and obey Christ is solid evidence that we are truly cleansed by Jesus’ blood. John says, “if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.” Your friends reveal whether you are saved or not. That is either a very disturbing truth to you tonight, or a deeply encouraging truth to you!
Friendships reveal so much because they are based on a common interest or a common love. You either love God or you love idols. Your friendships reveal who you are and what you love. David and Jonathan both had fervent hearts for God, and that was the only basis of their friendship.
Transition: So we’ve learned the Friendship Principle: a common love! Do you love God or idols? You do not need to answer. Your friends are already answering for you.
David and Jonathan were both friends of God. Their friendship was based on their fervent love for God.
II. Now with the help of David and Jonathan we are going to look at the Friendship Pattern. What does a godly friendship look like?
There are five marks I see in this passage of godly friendship:
· Humility
· Strength in the Lord
· Sacrifice
· Loyalty
· Fervency
A. Let’s look at first mark of godly friendship, which is Humility. We see this with both David and Jonathan. They were both men that knew the awesomeness of God, and therefore, they were nothing in their own eyes.
1. At the end of 1 Samuel 17, I want you to picture David with Goliath’s head in his hand, and “Abner took [DAVID], and brought him before Saul with the head of the Philistine in his hand. 58 And Saul said to him, Whose son art thou, thou young man?” Who are you?
It is amazing that the most important battle in Israel was just fought by a complete stranger and outsider—a shepherd boy! He wasn’t a soldier, but he is called a mere youth, a young man, a stripling, who is a son, and no one knows where he came from. Saul asks, “Whose son art thou, thou young man?”
David is so humble he doesn’t even reveal his own name. With Goliath’s head in one hand and his sword in another, you might imagine him puffing his chest out and strutting in with a boast of who he is, but we don’t see that. But with trophies of his battle in hand, David very humbly and quietly replies, “I am the son of thy servant Jesse the Bethlehemite” (1 Samuel 17:57-58).[3]
Later in the chapter he describes himself saying, “I am a poor man, and lightly esteemed” (verse 23). David had not only conquered Goliath, but by the grace of God he had conquered any distorted prideful view of himself. Our greatest enemy after a victory is our own self. David with trophies in hand is humble!
2. Watching this scene is Jonathan. We read in 1 Samuel 18:1, “And it came to pass, when [DAVID] had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul”. We see here Jonathan also had a very humble heart. Jonathan is the heir to the throne in Israel, and at this moment, he sees what he’s never seen in his father. A man after God’s own heart.
Jonathan knew who he was in God’s eyes. He was nobody important. Of course he had a lot he could be proud about. We first meet with Jonathan in 1 Samuel 13. He single handedly led a raid against the Philistine army. When he got home, his father Saul blew the trumpet and claimed the victory. When the main camp of the Philistines heard about the raid, they organized a huge counteroffensive.
With thirty thousand chariots and six thousand horsemen, they set out to go up against the Israelite army, which numbered only three thousand men. The terrified Israelites began looking for cover, fleeing into caves, underbrush, under cliffs, and inside cellars. Meanwhile, back at headquarters in Gilgal, Saul was desperately trying to hold his army together long enough for the prophet Samuel to arrive and offer the burnt offering for the LORD’s authorization for battle. Saul of course couldn’t wait and took things into his own hands and offered the sacrifice himself, an action that only the priest was authorized to do.
At that point Samuel told Saul, “But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the LORD hath sought him a man after his own heart, and the LORD hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which the LORD commanded thee” (1 Samuel 13:14).
Jonathan of course overheard these words of Samuel. Jonathan then slipped out of the camp of terrified soldiers and with the help of his shield-bearer, crawled into the rocks near Michmash. From these rocks the narrator gives us a glimpse into Jonathan’s soul by means of a little aside which he made to his armor bearer. “Come, and let us go over unto the garrison of these uncircumcised: it may be that the LORD will work for us: for there is no restraint to the LORD to save by many or by few” (1 Samuel 14:6).
Jonathan then attacked the Philistines and took out about 20 men. As the battle raged, an earthquake sent from the LORD began to shake the camp of the Philistines—so that they panicked and began killing one another.
With all this in mind, knowing that Jonathan is not only a national hero, but also the heir to his father’s throne, we see he has an amazingly humble spirit.
With Jonathan looking on David, we read in 1 Samuel 18:1, “And it came to pass, when [DAVID] had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul”.
At this point, Jonathan identified with David. He didn’t see David as some humble shepherd boy, but as a fellow follower of the Lord God of hosts!
This is the cornerstone of all true friendship. The ground at the cross is level. No one is better than any one else. If there is an ounce of pride in you, you will have that much less pleasure in friendship. The most fulfilling friendships are those that see one another as who we truly are in the Lord. We are all forgiven of our sins, rescued once inch from eternal damnation!
We have nothing to glory in—“Him that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord!” (2 Corinthians 10:17). Our boast is in “Jesus Christ and Him crucified” (1 Corinthians 2:2).
So there was no jealousy when Jonathan looked on David, just love. He saw a fellow pilgrim in the Lord. Joy welled up in his heart. Worship welled up in his soul. He was a fellow worshipper of the Lord!!
B. The second mark of godly friendship is Strength in the Lord. When Jonathan saw David, he saw a fellow warrior who relied on God alone. They were both warriors who relied on the Lord. I already mentioned this, but Jonathan and David were both national heroes. They had both had great victories over the Philistines. They both had the same philosophy of battle.
· Jonathan said in 1 Samuel 14:6, “there is no restraint to the LORD to save by many or by few.”
· David had said in 1 Samuel 17:47, “the LORD saveth not with sword and spear: for the battle is the LORD‘S”.
They both relied on the Lord ultimately, so their friendship would not be a selfish one. All they needed was found in the Lord. All that they had in common centered around the Lord.
C. The third mark of godly friendship is Sacrifice. What now occurs in these verses is highly unusual and pretty much jaw-dropping. Jonathan removes the symbols which show him to be the heir to the kingdom of Israel gives them to David. We read in verse 3, “Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle [BELT].”
It is as if the power and plan of God are manifested in this moment. He remembers Samuel’s words that God would seek Him a man after His own heart, and then Jonathan sees David, and by the illumination of the Spirit, God’s plan is totally obvious to Jonathan. This is not an impetuous half-baked action for Jonathan. This is a man filled with the Holy Spirit’s wisdom, moving in the awesome plan of God.
And so Jonathan gives David his royal clothing and his weapons of war. 1 Samuel 13:22 tells us that only Saul and Jonathan, who was the heir to the throne, had actual weapons of metal (a sword or a spear) at this time. In this act of giving, Jonathan renounces his right to the throne. So overcome is Jonathan at seeing the Spirit of God act in David, he takes off his royal robe and places it upon David. Jonathan selflessly sacrifices his own royal future. He later says to David in 1 Samuel 23:17, “thou shalt be king over Israel, and I shall be next unto thee; and that also Saul my father [SAUL] knoweth.”[4] Wow, true friends can sacrifice and push each other forward, because they have no other agenda but that Jesus Christ would be exalted!
This is a beautiful picture of true friendship. It is a radical act of self-sacrifice. Jonathan strips himself of everything precious in order to help David. The greatest motive of friendship is discerning and encouraging God’s plan for that person’s life. Selflessly giving yourself to the others to that they might do God’s best!
D. The fourth mark of godly friendship is Loyalty. We read in verse 3 that “Jonathan and David made a covenant” together. They have both experienced the power of God. These are two men that are led by the power of the Spirit of God. They have both experienced unheard of victories against the Philistines. And they have also both witnessed the breathtaking failures of King Saul. They know they must together salvage the kingdom of Israel through the power and plan of God. They make a covenant to that end. The covenant specifically is found in 1 Samuel 23:17, that David would “be king over Israel, and [JONATHAN WOULD]…. be next unto” David. Essentially, Jonathan would be David’s Prime Minister.
Jonathan had witnessed first hand in his father Saul all the characteristics for disaster in leadership. He also had the maturity to accept that God had taken the kingdom out of his father’s hand, and therefore out of his hand.
1. In their loyalty to each other, they were NEVER disloyal to their God ordained authority of King Saul. Jonathan honored his father as did David. After Jonathan won his own battles in Gibeah, he made his way to Gilgal help his father. He got there in time to overhear Samuel pronounce the loss of Saul’s kingdom, and that it would be given to a “man after [God’s] own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14).
Saul abused his position, he took advantage of people, and he made absolute moral chaos in Israel. Still David and Jonathan were stayed under their authority.
2. David and Jonathan remained loyal to their God-given authority, even though Saul threatened both David and Jonathan’s life! David’s life was directly threatened SIX times in the next ELEVEN years by King Saul, but in 1 Samuel 24:6, when David and his men had the opportunity to take King Saul’s life, we read that David, “said unto his men, The LORD forbid that I should do this thing unto my master, the LORD‘S anointed, to stretch forth mine hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the LORD.”
3. David was faithful to serve Saul. 1 Samuel 17:2, 5, “2 And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father’s house. …5 And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him, and behaved himself wisely: and Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.”
He went wherever Saul sent him. “Those that hope to rule must first learn to obey” (Matthew Henry). And he was faithful to Saul even when Saul would trick him and try to kill him!
Are you a loyal friend?
E. The fifth mark of true friendship is Fervency. We read in verse 1, “the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David”. There is not a stronger word to show a common bond between two people. Jonathan loved David. He saw David’s intense love for God, and he worshipped God and rejoiced in David and had a true fellowship with God. These were two men who were walking in the light, and their love for God satisfied their souls. There is a zeal and a rejoicing of heart, mind, and soul. This kind of friendship cannot ever be broken because it is forged in the Lord.
III. Finally, let’s get even more practical and look at some Friendship Propositions.
A. First, be a friend at all times! Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” God sends friendship at the right time. Friendships are an amazing blessing. God sends friendships into your life at divinely appointed times. David was about to enter the darkest period of his life. He would be a fugitive for approximately eleven years, and his life would be threatened six times by Saul. Friends are friends in the hard times and in the good times!
B. Second, any time is a good time to be a friend. It’s always the right time to be a friend! Proverbs 18:24, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” David and Jonathan were literally friends through thick and thin. They loved at all times. What an example of friendship!
C. Third, true friends are honest. Proverbs 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” A true friend will provide you often with loving confrontation and not always tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear.
D. Finally, to be a friend, you must follow Jesus to the Cross in obedience. Our Lord says in John 15:14, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. 14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. 15 Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.” All our friendships are based on death to this world and living for Christ.
Conclusion: As I said at the beginning, your friends reveal who you are and what you love. Do you model the friendship that Jesus Christ has with us?
[1] Saul had nothing but broken relationships because he was not in right relation with God. The fact that any of us has had broken relationships at one time or another shows that sin has entered into our lives and into this world. If there were no sin, there would be no broken relationships, no fights, no wars, no divorces. There would only be friendship with God and friendship with each other. Sin cuts off all true fellowship with God and with man.
[2] Paul says the same thing in 1 Thessalonians 4:9, “as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.”
[3] And so it is with Israel’s future King of kings, another Bethlehemite. “Whose son is this?” is the ringing question in the Gospels among the Jews. Where does He come from? From Galilee? From Bethlehem? From Heaven? (John 6:42). We read in Mark 6:2, “many hearing [JESUS] were astonished, saying, From whence hath this man these things? and what wisdom is this which is given unto him, that even such mighty works are wrought by his hands?” Who is this young man?
[4] Later Saul warns Jonathan in 1 Samuel 20:31, “For as long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die”