How to Reach Our Wayward Children
By Pastor Matt Black
18 April 2007
Midweek
Bible Study
2 Chronicles 7:12-14
Introduction: Tonight I’m going to teach on a question that ought to be close to every parent’s heart. “How to Reach a Wayward Child”?
This evening, the Christian home is under attack.
2 Chronicles 7:12-14, “And the LORD appeared to Solomon by night, and said unto him, I have heard thy prayer, and have chosen this place to myself for an house of sacrifice. 13 If I shut up heaven that there be no rain, or if I command the locusts to devour the land, or if I send pestilence among my people; 14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. 15 Now mine eyes shall be open, and mine ears attent unto the prayer that is made in this place.”
At first glance this passage does not seem to speak of wayward children, but actually, we are going to find out that this verse has all the answers we need for our homes.
Look at the Context: A Home for God.
A. The Temple Dedication: Of course, in this text, you have the dedication of “Solomon’s” Temple in view. Remember that the Temple is symbolic of the very Presence of God.
1. The nation gathered to celebrate!
2. The Lord’s House that King David so wanted for God was finally built!
3. After seven (7) years of labor by over 30,000 workers, and what would have then amounted to expenditures of millions of dollars, the Temple was now standing in all its glory.
4. The priests were praising God with their singing and 120 trumpets.
B. The Lord’s Visitation: As their praise and thanksgiving went up to God the glory of the Lord came down and filled the house.
2 Chronicles 7:1, “Now when Solomon had made an end of praying, the fire came down from heaven, and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices; and the glory of the LORD filled the house.”
All of this great demonstration of God’s presence was not for the Temple’s sake. Temples pass away, and this one did. They rebuilt it, and the Second Temple (called Herod’s Temple) in Jesus’ day was also destroyed.
Application: The Temple in and of itself was not important to God or else it would still be around today. It was simply an illustration of a person’s union with Christ and God. God wanted a home in the heart of each of these individuals. The Temple was there to remind them and us of that. God’s purpose is to cleanse and fill the temple of our body. He wants to fill US with His presence and bring US into union with Him! His indwelling presence and filling of His Spirit was not there simply to sweep out the dust of the Temple, but to sweep out the dust of their hearts!
So here is this Temple filled with an awesome demonstration of the power and presence of God! That is a picture of the Christian life! God did this amazing show of strength and glory to burn into their hearts the need for His constant presence.
So let’s apply this to our homes. A Christian home is a home where Father and Mother are indwelt and filled with the Holy Spirit of God. If a child is wayward and rebellious, they have one need: THEY NEED TO MEET GOD!!!! They need to come into an encounter with the Living God. There are three steps to this!
I. Step #1: Listen to God’s Megaphone. Bad things in our life—trials and tribulations have often been called God’s megaphone. These trials are often what we pray for, but they simply are ways for God to get our attention. Many times we pray for God to remove the trial or suffering from our life, but that is not how we ought to pray. We ought not to pray for God to simply remove it. It’s fine to ask—Paul asked for the thorn to be removed, but what we need to do is pray that the pain of our outward man would cleanse and purify our inward man. For “though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16).
In verse 13 God makes it clear that suffering is His megaphone to get our attention. He mentions three things in particular:
1. Dryness: (Failure of Growth),
2. Destruction: (Failure of Property),
3. Disease: (Failure of Health).
Let’s look at them briefly.
A. DRYNESS: A lack of Growth. (“If I shut up heaven that there be no rain”). The opposite of this would be growth.
This is describing a drought. Have you been at a place in your life where nothing is really happening? Have you ever had a time of unrest in your life? What does that look like?
Ø Maybe men, you are in a job situation that is difficult. You don’t feel happy or productive.
Ø Maybe ladies, you are in a schooling situation where you are going nowhere. Your child is not excelling. Maybe you can’t pay the mounting school bills! Maybe you are even a home schooling mother and you are way behind, and you just don’t know where to begin!
Ø Maybe you feel like you are at a stale mate in your marriage right now—you just don’t understand each other. You are tired of the arguments!
Ø If one or all of the above are happening, then there’s probably drought and dryness in your spiritual life. Your prayers are dead, your heart is cold! You remember the days of hearing from heaven, but now it seems you don’t have time to get a hold of God.
It could be that you’ve been so distracted with all of the above, that while you were trying to build an outward temple for your children, you did not address their inner man, and they have gone astray. They are wayward!!
Are you there now? Stop what you are doing! Make time! LISTEN TO GOD! God is using the megaphone of trials and suffering to get your attention. If there is a failure and lack of growth in your life, you need to get alone with God and turn your heart up to heaven.
There’s another megaphone that God uses…
B. DESTRUCTION: A Failure of Property (“or if I command the locusts to devour the land”). Of course this type of megaphone is always unexpected. Who plans for locusts to eat the corn crop? But we all know about the unexpected loss of property! Applying this to the 21st century, this could be…
Ø Your car breaks down, needs repairs
Ø You lose your job
Ø You have a major house repair (or two or three)
Ø Your spouse who was supporting you, leaves you high and dry
Ø It could be you expected a tax refund, and it didn’t come through
Ø Your housing taxes go up
Usually when these kinds of things happen, we wonder if God has forgotten about us! God in fact has not forgotten about us, but is very much thinking about us. If you are a believer tonight, God says this to you in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”
Some of you about this time are wishing God would stop thinking about you so much!! If these things are happening, you need to get alone with the Lord in your prayer closet and LISTEN TO GOD!
Why do you need to listen to God at these times? Because we are prone to want to make the outward circumstances of life good for our children all the while ignoring their hearts! We are so concerned that they have clothes to wear and food to eat and a refrigerator and stove and car that function, but what about the hearts of our children functioning toward God? Stop what you are doing, and listen to God! Get alone with God mom. You say “I don’t have time”. This is a statement of fact. If anyone on earth does not have time, it is a mother. And yet, the most godly people that have ever walked the face of the earth were mothers. John and Charles Wesley had a godly mother. I think she was pretty busy with 17 children, but through her godliness those boys shook the world!!
Some of you Grandparents are raising your grandchildren. Amen! You are not the first. Charles Haddon Spurgeon was raised by his grandparents. He came to know Christ at the age of 15 and while just 22 years old he shook the world, preaching to 10,000 people at the Surrey Gardens in London since he’d long outgrown the New Park Street church.
If your property is failing, your car, your house, your computer crashes—it’s ok! It doesn’t matter if they are replaced. But if your children crash, they have eternal souls! Keep your focus on the eternal things. When your property and possessions are breaking down, then you ought to break down before God in prayer. He’s using His megaphone to get your attention.
Verse 13 names another megaphone that God uses to get our attention—not only a lack of growth and a failure of property, but thirdly,
C. DISEASE: A Failure of Health (“or if I send pestilence among my people”). Shall we go here?
Ø Perhaps it seems like this year, you keep getting sickness after sickness! You are tired of being sick!
Ø Perhaps at one time you were in fine health, and all of the sudden, you came down with something that shocked you! You thought you were healthy, but now you have a long term or even life time illness that is a massive burden to you.
Do not think for a moment that God has forgotten you! In fact, it is He alone that sends this illness to you. He says in verse 13, “I send pestilence among my people”. It is His megaphone. The question is: are you listening?
Ø Has the illness or illnesses made you closer to God? An illness is a big STOP sign in life. You need to slow down!
Application: (Burning rubber to get nowhere) You ought to understand that in Chicago. People are going nowhere fast. They are burning all kinds of rubber. They’ve got to get here and there, and for what? —To lay up treasures on an earth that the Lord is going to very soon shake to its very foundations.
Have you taken time to thank God for your sickness? It slows you down and helps you think of the eternal. Perhaps you are so busy taking care of your children’s physical health, that you’ve forgotten the spiritual death bed they are on. If your child does not know Christ, you need to worry most about the soul of your child. God may bring you failure in health to get your attention. If so, Stop and LISTEN to God!!
With that in mind, the Lord here says that if things are going wrong, the first thing we should do is examine ourselves. Very clearly He says, “If there is a drought for your crops, or if there is an insect infestation, or if there is any kind of sickness in your families, then that may be a good time for self examination and if needed, repentance.
So we need to STOP and LISTEN to God’s Megaphone. Let’s go on to our next point.
II. Step #2 is we need to Respond to God’s Message! Verse 14, “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”
A. For the Parent, A superficial Response won’t do.
God’s message is that the problem is not surface. We must be careful in approaching a wayward child by treating shallow and superficial symptoms. What does that look like?
Ø “You ought to know better, we’ve sent you to church!” Of course, we know that Christianity is NOT church, but the living out of Christ in the life. Simply comforting yourself that you’ve sent your child to church will do you no good whatsoever. You have to have a personal commitment to reach your child’s soul.
Ø “Son or Daughter, you’d better read your Bible more or you’ll lose privileges!” Why doesn’t this work? Because a lost person has no hunger for the Word of God. They need to know that you want to see their soul saved, not just good behaviour!
It is not a surface problem, and it cannot be treated with surface solutions. You may ask, “How can I reach my child’s heart?” The answer: You need to first respond to God yourself. You call yourself by the Name of the Lord.
B. A Superficial Relationship won’t do—“ my people, which are called by my name”. Remember, the audience the Lord is addressing. Notice this is addressed to those who profess to know the Lord. He says, “my people, which are called by my name”. You ought never to claim the Name of the Lord as your own if you don’t live up to it. If you are ever to see your children saved, then you must live the life! How do we do that?
C. You must evidence the Four (4) fruits of a God-Saturated life! You see if your children do not see Christ in you, why would they ever have any hope of following Him?
Now let me preface this by saying, you can do all of these things and it is not a guarantee that you will gain your children. You may have lived the life before them, and you
If My people which are called by My name will --
1. Humble themselves. You must come to the end of yourself!
Humility is the only way to get a hold of God. If God is the only one that can reach your child’s heart, then you desperately need to get a hold of Him!
Psalm 51:17, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.”
2. And Pray. A calling out to God with desperation and dependence!
Prayer should not be the last resort for the child of God. It is quite possible that God will to give you that very thing you are so desperate for.
a. James said, "Ye have not because you ask not” (James 4:2). How many times do you need to hear these promises to believe them? it's just that simple.
b. Psalm 37:4, “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”
c. "If you ask anything..." (John 14:14).
d. Mark 11:24, “Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them."
e. Luke 11:9, “And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”
3. And seek My face: This is WORSHIP.
Psalm 73:25, “Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.”
4. And turn from their wicked ways. What constitutes turning? This is repentance!
a. Radical. Matthew 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples (followers), If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
Deny self.
Take up cross.
Follow me.
b. Makes restitution. Remember that little man with a big heart? God gave him a heart of repentance! Luke 19:8 And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold.
III. Step #3: Wait for God’s Miracle.
So you ask tonight, how can I reach my wayward child? You want to know something? You can’t. All of our children are wayward! Isaiah 53:6, “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way.”
If My people which are called by My name will --
Ø Humble themselves.
Ø And pray.
Ø And seek My face.
Ø And turn from their wicked ways.
God says, if you will, I will. This is the working out of glory in your soul. This is real growth and sanctification. It is trusting and obeying and believing God.
If you will, then I will… – Three glorious promises of Miracles!
A. "I WILL HEAR FROM HEAVEN."
This is a glorious promise of God. It always amazes me that God will listen to me when I pray. The God of heaven will hear me.
i. An impure person.
Ø Psalm 66:18, “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:”
Ø Psalm 24:3-4, “Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place? 4 He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.”
ii. An unbelieving person. In James 1:6-8, to a person who needs wisdom or anything else, James says, “let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. 7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. 8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.”
iii. A proud person. 1 Peter 5:5, “God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.”
Impure: It’s no use going to God with dirty hands and an unclean heart.
Unbelieving: It’s no use going to God until you are ready to let Him give you the answer, and you want only His answer.
Proud: It’s no use going to God if you’re proud. You’ve got to come to end of yourself!
i. We can have confidence that God hears us!!
1 John 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: 15 And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.
ii. Matthew 7:7, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”
B. I WILL Forgive their sin.
Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
Isaiah 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
C. I WILL Heal their land. Of course the land is not a big deal. All of this is going to perish. The whole point of it is to heal the soul. God can do what you cannot do!!
Conclusion: How can you reach a wayward child? You can’t! But God can! If you will humble yourself, and live the life of Christ in you the hope of glory, God can work a miracle in your child’s heart. Every salvation is a miracle!!!
Appeal: Are you here tonight without Christ? Turn to God. Come to the end of yourself! Come to Christ—you are tired and weary, but Christ can give you rest for your soul!!
Closing Hymn: 635 I Have Decided to Follow Jesus