One Desire: A Message to Parents
By Pastor Matt Black
11 April 2007
Midweek
Bible Study
James 4:1-10
Introduction: I want to ask a question to those who have children here tonight. Is there any one here who has a child that never whines or fusses? Do your children ever hear you whine or fuss at them? I’m afraid we so often squander the eighteen or so years we have with our children because we are nearsighted.
J. Edgar Hoover said “The cure of crime is not the electric chair, but the high chair.”
Psalm 127:1 tells us “Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it”.
The latter part of Psalm 101:2 is an extremely important verse—it says, “I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.” Have you ever yelled at a perfect stranger?
Now, if you would, open your Bibles to James 4:1-10, “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? 2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. 3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. 4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. 5 Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? 6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”
I. The Root of Conflict. James asks the ultimate question: verse 1, “From whence come wars and fightings among you?”
A. Let’s restate the question. What is James getting at? We could phrase the question another way:
o Why do I do the things I do?
o Why do my children do the things they do?
B. This question uncovers our hearts. This question gets to the very core of who we are.
C. James does heart surgery by answering this question-“Where does all this whining and fussing come from? Why are my children grumbling and complaining?”. James just opens all of us wide open here in the latter part of verse 1: “come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?”
D. Wow! Here’s the principle: Behavior comes from desire.
Why do we do what we do? The answer: because we want what we want!
This word ‘lusts’ refers to our “desires, passions, or wants”. In other words James is talking about the the human heart—the operation center of all human decision making. Let’s go to Hebrews 4:12 to clarify this. There we read that “the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents [INTENTIONS] of the heart.”
The thoughts and intentions or desires of the heart are behind every one of your actions.
II. The Results of Conflict. When sin is dominating a life, many desires take over. There is a need for just one desire to be there. The desire for God that God created us to have. He created us as beings of worship. The only way our hearts can be ultimately satisfied is if we are satisfied in God ALONE. If we or our children are looking for pleasure in anything else, you’ll be able to see it by the results and evidence of conflict.
I want you to see a life that does not have that one desire, but many conflicting desires which result in::
A. Double-mindedness. Verse 1: “lusts that war in your members” Double-mindedness means that there are competing agendas in your heart.
James 1:8, “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.”
There’s no room for double-mindedness in the Christian life.
Ø There is not room for more than one way. Jesus said in John 14:6, “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”
Ø Jesus said in Luke 14:33, “whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.”
B. Unfulfilled Desire. Verse 2: “Ye lust, and have not”. The heart can never be satisfied by anything or anyone but God. Our heart was made to worship God. All other things that offer pleasure are counterfeits. The heart that does not know God “lusts and has not”. It can never be satisfied.
Ø Of course Jesus said in John 4:14, that “whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.”
Ø Again in John 6:35 He said, “I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.”
Illustration: I have told you before of the great feasts in Rome. Even with the greatest of food and delicacies, they were not satisfied. They would eat and eat, and then go to the “vomitorium” where they would get rid of what they had just eaten so they could eat more. They were never satisfied!
C. A murderous, selfish spirit. Verse 2, “ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain”. The Bible says in Isaiah 53:6, “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way”. The essence of murder is selfishness.
What this verse has an allusion to the killing in the wars of nations. We don’t actually do it, but we have the attitude of those who would kill to get what they want. Murder is a total disregard for anyone and anything but me.
What makes a desire murderous and sinful? —If I am willing to sin to get what I want.
D. Selfish praying. Look at the last part of verse 2 and verse 3, “yet ye have not, because ye ask not. 3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.”
Ø There is nothing wrong with praying for good health, but if health is our ultimate goal, it is an idol.
Ø There is nothing wrong with praying for reconciliation, but if reconciliation is your ultimate goal, it can be an idol.
Illustration: Have you even had a conflict with someone and you prayed in great pride with a hard heart, “Lord please change that person’s heart” and then you basically vented to the Lord because of how wrong they are. That kind of prayer is empty air.
Ø The goal is not good health, well behaved kids, reconciliation, etc. All of these things are great, but they if that’s all you are asking for, you “ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.”
What is adultery? It is betraying the one you love and getting fulfillment from a treacherous source.
Friends, where are you seeking your fulfillment? We think we’re spiritual because we make the sacrifice to go to church once or twice a week. We think we are real Christians because we give financially. Sure all those things are good and necessary! But God wants you!
An adulterer closes his or her eyes to his vows. If you are bought with the blood of Christ, your first vow is to forsake all others and worship only God.
How do you know if you are an adulterer with the world?
Why do we do what we do? The answer: because we want what we want!
Ø Do you give God worship? So much of what the church does is a total waste of time. There are some of you here tonight that comfort your self because perhaps you are not involved in terrible sin, you are just a time waster. But if you are not worshipping God and if He does not have your heart, you are committing terrible sin. You are trying to take away your heart ache by watching a movie or having a bite to eat.
Ø Do you have a heart for souls? Do you care that most of the people you come into contact with every day are going to hell? Do your children see in you a broken heart for souls? When was the last time you got down on your knees with your children and wept for souls? It could be that all they see is an adulterer with the world. Your neighbor needs Christ. Are you going to let him drown in his sins?
Ø Do you have part in carnal pleasures? Can’t you see all around you—what the lost are addicted to? You laugh at the same things that send them to hell. How can you do that? If you commit adultery with the world, you will raise adulterers for the world in your home.
III. The Remedy for Conflict.
A. Repentance.
1. Identification—be disturbed! Don’t you care? These sinful desires cannot be played with, they can only be dealt with through death. Look at verse 5, “Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?”
2. Mortification: Look at the last part of verse 8, “Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” Perhaps you are afflicted, but you go to the TV or to a friend to lift you up.
Jesus said to follow Him we need to “deny ourselves, take up our cross” and only then can we follow him. What is the path to mortification?
What is the path to mortification?
a. Confession of sin. I love these verses, because James is quoting the Psalms. Verse 8, “Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”
Psalm 24:3-4, “Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place? 4 He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.”
b. Godly sorrow for sin. Verse 9, “Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.”
c. Repentance. There is an element of action in it!
Verse 8, “Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”
Whatsoever is not of faith is sin!
If we know to do good and do it not, it is sin!
Once our hands are clean, we can pursue our one desire.
B. Worship. Notice I didn’t say prayer. Yes. Christians need to pray—by prayer I mean intercession for others’ needs. Prayer is a preoccupation with my needs or the needs of others. But you cannot pray until you have worshipped, and you cannot worship until you have repented.
Look at verses 6-8, “But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.”
You need to get alone with God. You need to teach your children that happiness is found in God alone. Look at Psalm 73:25-26, “Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. 26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.”
Notice the result: Verse 10 “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”
Conclusion: Do you have ONE desire?
Closing Hymn: 394 My Life is Yours to Control