The Delight of Nurturing and Admonishing Children
By Pastor Matt Black
04
February 2007
Lord's Day morning
Ephesians 6:1-4
Let us rise this morning for the reading of God’s Word. Open your Bibles to Ephesians 6, and let’s read verses 1-4. The title of this morning’s message is “The Delight of Nurturing and Admonishing Children”.
We will be looking specifically at Ephesians 6:1-4, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Introduction: God is good…
All the time.
All the time…
God is good.
Today is “Taste and See” Sunday where we are thinking on the theme of God’s goodness. Today we are looking at the theme of God’s goodness to us in giving us children. This morning is very special for Jaime and Leticia Vela as they are coming to dedicate their child Jaime Isaiah.
The dedication of a child is much more about the parents than the child. Jaime and Leticia come today really to dedicate themselves to the hard work and lifelong endeavor of training and bringing up Isaiah in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The goal of every parent here is not simply to have good children! The world can raise good children. What we want is for our children to have a real walk with God. We want not just good children, but godly children.
This morning we are going to see several principles that make for true and living Christianity in the home. By the way, most Christian living is done not in the church, but in the home and in the work place. The church is for training and discipleship. What we do when we walk out of these doors is where the test of your commitment to Christ takes place.
So this morning we all want to please God in our homes. We all want to have godly children and godly marriages. How do we get there? We are going to look at several principles.
I. For the Home (really ALL relationships): The Principle of Submission.
The home of a Christian is not ultimately built on rocket science, but on submission to the Holy Spirit of God and to one another. There really is only one principle. As we look at the verses leading up to chapter 6 of Ephesians, we look first at chapter 5 and verse 17, “Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. 18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit…” Verse 21 goes on to say, something happens as a result of this Spirit filling, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”
What we see in this principle is that Spirit-filling
leads to Submitted living!
A. Spirit Filling. Real change and growth take place when someone is filled with the Spirit. In order to have a commitment to change and to serving others, there must be a deep commitment to pleasing God above my agenda. There must be sufficient reason to disregard the natural inclinations of my depraved will. That comes when I am born again by the Spirit of God, and the Spirit constantly puts the weighty values of eternity on my heart, reminding me not to fight and fuss and lay up treasure on earth, but to serve and love others and lay up treasure in heaven.
That’s why Verse 21 says that Spirit filled believers are “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” You see, Spirit-filling leads to Submitted living
B. Submitted Living. Spirit-filling changes everything about how we live. Life without the Spirit is all about what I can GET! Submission is the attitude of a servant’s heart. It is the engine that ought to be running all of our days—bearing fruit in our Christian lives! Let’s apply it to various areas of live.
o A Job—what can I get from it? No you should ask, what do I want to GIVE for the glory of God?!
o Church membership—people say what does this church have to offer me? When as a Spirit filled believer, you ought to ask yourself the question: What am I willing to GIVE?
o Relationships: Here in this passage Paul begins to apply this attitude of service and submission to husband and wife, and then in chapter 6, he applies it to the Parent-Child relationship.
God defines the challenges of the family right away. Verse 1 begins: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord”, and why do they need to do this? — “for this is right”.
II. The Principle of Obedience.
Verse 1 begins: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right”.
From a child’s perspective, the child must learn to obey his parents. We need to understand that this is not a given. Children do not automatically do that.
He goes on to say that the children are not only to OBEY the parents, they are to HONOR the parents from the heart. That is, there is not simply an outward conformity of behavior, but a true respect from the heart.
So we can see the battle ground right away. As soon as the child comes into this world, there must be a controlling of the child’s will. That is what obedience is.
Some homes have many rules—don’t do this, don’t do that, etc. Rules are helpful. But in the Christian home, everything comes down to one rule: the rule of obedience.
“Children have the easy role in the family. All they have to do is obey their parents.”[1] In our house we have really only one rule: honor mother and father through obedience. By obeying Dad and Mom, a child is giving obedience to God.
I want you to notice that the Bible commands children to obey their parents. It does not command them to be their friend. Some parents are soft on their children. They would say they have a soft spot in their heart for their child. Two year old little Johnny is called to come to the mother or father. Johnny doesn’t whine or fuss, he simple furrows his eyebrows together and sticks his little lip out. And what do these new parents say? “Aw, look at little Johnny, isn’t that little lip sooooo cute!”
BEWARE OF CUTE CHILDREN
Parents, what is cute at 2 is not cute at 12 or 22! That little lip is an outward sign of an inward condition of selfishness and rebellion. By doting over their seemingly “cute” rebellion, you are teaching your child to disobey you. This may seem harmless now, but remember the eternal law of the harvest: “What ever you sow, you will also reap” and in another place, “If you sow to the wind, you will reap the whirlwind”. You are planting seeds in your child that will one day cause them to break your heart and bring you shame.
You must not look upon your children simply as “cute”, but as the greatest mission field in all the world! When Jesus lifted up his eyes upon Jerusalem, he wept. He was moved with compassion on them. He saw them without guidance—as sheep with no shepherd.
o “Johnny, don’t make me count to three!”
o “If I have to tell you ONE more time, you’re really going to get it!”
Whether it is one more time or a third time, what you are teaching your child is that it is not necessary to obey the First time.
Let me give you the Biblical formula for obedience. A child should obey:
1. Immediately
2. Sweetly
3. Completely
III. The Principle of Honor. Honor comes after obedience. When consistency and love are demonstrated by the parents, honor will follow. And this is what God commands: “. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise”
IV. The Principle of Prosperity. Why are obedience and honor to parents so important? Look at verse 3, “That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth”.
How many of you have known someone on the job that just could not get along with the boss? What is their life like? Not very pleasant is it? God has set these things in place. The parent-child relationship is so important that it affects your relationship with everyone else.
This is so foundational that you must get a hold of this. Children will not do well in the earth, they will not function well in the society, they will not make a good transition from dependence to independence unless they learn the meaning of authority and unless they learn to honor those they should honor.
How does this take place? The Bible gives us either in direct principle or implies precepts exactly how this all takes place. Look at verses
V. The Principle of Headship. Look at verse 4, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Notice the Fathers are given the example.
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
VI. The Principle of Shepherding. If children are to obey Dad and Mom, there must be a lot of shepherding going on! The Word nourish has the idea of training. Children are not going to train themselves! Verse 4, “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Proverbs 29:15, “a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”
Children have a natural depravity, and they must be shepherded.
Deut. 6:4-9, “4 ¶ Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: 5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
VII. The Principle of Admonition. Rebuke or warning. Who’s in charge?
bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Conclusion: As we close, I’d like to ask Bro. Jaime and his wife Mrs. Leticia to come up here with their son Isaiah. Jaime Isaiah Vela is presented today for dedication to the Lord. Of course this dedication comes as a result of two parents that have given their lives in dedication to the Lord already.
Dedication
Closing Hymn: