Communicating Christ to Our Children
By Pastor Matt Black
31
January 2006
Mid-Week Prayer Service
Ephesians 4:17-32
Open your Bibles to Ephesians 4:17-32. The title of this evening’s message is “Communicating Christ to our Children”.
Ephesians 4:17-32, “This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, 18 Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart: 19 Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. 20 But ye have not so learned Christ; 21 If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: 22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; 23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; 24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. 25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. 26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: 27 Neither give place to the devil. 28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. 29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Introduction: Tonight’s message is about Communicating Christ to our children. The passage we are looking at tonight does not specifically address children, but it does address how we communicate, and we do a whole lot of communicating with our children. Everyone here in this church has an awesome and sober responsibility to communicate Christ to every child here. Those of us who are parents need to seize this responsibility as soon as our children are born. We need to teach them NOT to walk as the Gentiles walk, and teach the Christ. They need to learn Christ! Perhaps you think you are too late in seizing that opportunity. You have no time to waste! Tonight we are going to see the “Don’ts” of pleasing communication and then we are going to see the Discipleship of Biblical communication.
I. The “Don’ts” of Communication.
Most parents and indeed most Christians do not think about how they communicate. They simply talk about whatever whenever they want to. The Bible says we should THINK about the way we talk! The Bible in our passage gives us clear principles of communication that we should constantly think about.
1. Talking without thinking is a foolish gamble!! Look at what Proverbs has to say.
Proverbs 17:28, “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.”
Proverbs 29:11, “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.”
Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
Words must be weighed carefully! Listen, no parent’s philosophy here is to purposely guide their children into the popular thinking in the world. I do not believe anyone here is purposely doing that, but because you are passive in the rearing of your children, and specifically because you are not ACTIVE in communicating Biblical life principles to the heart, you are gambling with their souls!
Illustration: What would you do if the Ford Motor company did not communicate the standards and blueprints of their cars to their employees? Or what if they simply gave them a general outline? You would not be able to trust the product of Ford Motor Company. You can’t trust gamblers. Sometimes they win, sometimes they lose.
You cannot afford to gamble with the message you communicate with your children!
The goal of every Christian parent ought to be that their child would not just grow up to be good, but would grow up to be godly!
Don’t gamble! Many parents think the church will communicate the Gospel message to their children. Others think a Christian school will do it. Parents, it is your responsibility ALONE to communicate the Gospel message to your children. Don’t gamble!!
2. Communicating only when trouble comes is a HUGE gamble!
Some parents only give Biblical principles to their children when trouble comes. Listen, your goal is not simply to keep your children from getting into trouble. Some parents’ philosophy is simply that their children would not embarrass them!
Verse 30 of our text implies the reason for all communication: REDEMPTION! Corrupt communication (verse 29) grieves “the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption”.
Mother and Father need to have a continual redemptive mindset. If you children are not saved, they are constantly in trouble! They are not redeemed! And if they profess salvation, you constantly be building them up in Biblical Gospel that you may “minister grace” to their ears (verse 29).
Why do parents see their children go off the deep end into the world and become prodigals? We have all seen children who bring great heart ache to their parents. Maybe you are here right now, and you are hoping beyond hope that your children turn out right.
You cannot just hope!! You must take action! Do not gamble with your children. You must communicate Biblically. Christian parents in all of our churches have abdicated and shifted their God-given responsibilities to others. Mother and Father, YOU are the one that will be held accountable for what your child hears! You are responsible for the message they receive.
Listen, our churches, Christian schools, athletic programs, extracurricular activities—all of these things are good. But none of them will get the job done for your child. You must be ACTIVE in the communication to your children. Don’t’ Gamble!
Transition: There are so many things in this passage that you must be actively doing if you are going to communicate Biblically. We will look at that in a moment, but before we do that, I want you to see another “Don’t”. It is a similar principle.
Every parent here wants their child to be pure, disciplined, godly, Holy Spirit filled follower of Christ. If you do nothing, then they are already on Satan’s path!
If your children are old enough to accept Christ and are still not saved, they are already “children of disobedience” and “children of wrath” (Ephesians 2:1-3).
Earlier in the passage, Paul tells the Ephesians “Put off the old man” (verse 22) and in verse 24, “put on the new man”. You can’t be neutral. You must be radical! Listen, back to the Ford illustration. Do you think they are just sitting back hoping everything turns out for them in the car industry? They are busy planning.
Parents, if your child does not get true godly training, if they do not see radical godliness and consistency in the home, you have no one to blame but yourself.
Transition: Now let’s look at a second principle
II. Now let’s look at the Discipleship of Biblical communication.
There must be a Godward focus in your heart before godly communication can come out of your mouth. That is true of you and it is true of your child.
We need to teach them NOT to walk as the Gentiles walk, and teach the Christ. They need to learn Christ! It’s not just do’s and don’ts, it is a person!
You see the whole point of having children is not simply changing behavior, but reaching the heart!
You must stay far away from the behavior only focus. Yes, you are concerned about behavior, but the real problem in all of us is the heart!!
Look at the warnings in our passage. There is a lot of behavior addressed. Yet ultimately all behavior comes down to the heart. Look at verse 32, “be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
The ultimate answer to all sin is to reach and transform the heart!!
Conclusion: Sometimes we expose our children to that which we think is harmless—we think there is no detriment to them. We sit them in front of the television or send them to a friend’s house, and we think they are perfectly safe. We expose them to influences that seem to be fine, we are not sure. Perhaps we tell our selves of all the gray areas in life. What we don’t realize is that much of what we allow into their hearts is poison.
It’s like this afternoon when I looked down on the floor and saw what I believed to be a piece of bread. I reached down for it, and it was not bread at all, but a dead mouse!
That is what sin is like for our children. We give them what we think is harmless, but we are not seeing spiritual things clearly, and what we think is fine is really dirty and poisonous! We need to not gamble with our children, but communicate Christ to them. You see we are not simply talking about losing them for this life. If we lose our children, ultimately, we lose them for eternity! Parents, what are you communicating to your children? Is all that you do giving glory to God? Are you active in this discipleship, or are you lounging and coasting! Wake up! Our children’s eternities are at stake!
Closing Hymn: 44 To God Be the Glory