Expectations
By Michael Klikas
06 December 2006
Wednesday Bible Study
Lamentations 3:37-41
Well, what did you expect? Have you ever heard someone say that before? Maybe they have said it to you. Expect victory! I expect you to perform these tasks at work. I have certain expectations that I want my children to meet. Expectations, what are they?
EXPECTA'TION, n. [L. expectatio.] The act of expecting or looking forward to a future event with at least some reason to believe the event will happen. Expectation differs from hope. Hope originates in desire, and may exist with little or no ground of belief that the desired event will arrive. Expectation is founded on some reasons which render the event probably. Hope is directed to some good; expectation is directed to good or evil.
Have you ever wondered if the expectations you have for your life, for your children, for your job, etc. meet, exceed or are different then God’s expectations in these areas of your life? Now I think its right to say that those of us who have children expect them to act and behave in a certain way. However, can we place unreal expectations on them by wanting them to be something that God does not want them to be? What about our spouses, can we place unreal expectations on them? Of course we can. So let’s ask this of the three principle areas of our life. Can we place unreal expectations on our family, on our church, and on our job? The answer of course is yes. But where do these unreal expectations come from and why do we expect more than what God requires?
Now almost everyone remembers the infamous orange turkey incident, so for sake of our taste buds won’t talk about that again. Now if you don’t know about the orange turkey incident, you can ask me after the service. But the point is, that I had setup unreal expectations for that dinner. So how do we do this at home, at work and at church? Well one of the unrealistic expectations we setup is that we expect our children to behave because we have told them once, and that should be enough. We should never have to correct them again in that area of their life. Mom, dad, let me ask you this, how many times has God told you through his word to obey Him and yet you still don’t obey? Now we are not excusing sin, so don’t think that is the case, but sometimes I think that we put these unrealistic expectations on our children, our spouse, our job, and our church to the point that they should do thus and so even though there is no biblical basis for it. I understand that God expects us to obey immediately and we should also expect that from our children. However, the difference between God and us is that God is merciful to us when we don’t obey, or don’t get it right away, whereas we are ready to pounce on our children, spouse, employees, and yes even church members if they “don’t get it” right away.
In Isaiah 1:18 the Bible says this: Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
Those words “and let us reason together” means reciprocally to argue; causatively to decide, justify or convict: - appoint, argue, chasten, convince, correct (-ion), daysman, dispute, judge, maintain, plead, reason (together), rebuke, reprove (-r), surely, in any wise.
Now obviously we are not going to argue with the Lord, or at least I hope not. But that means that God is willing to work with us until we get it. As we tell God the areas that we are struggling in and are honest with him, he in return guides in our studies and brings people our way to help us grow and change. Unfortunately too many times we are expecting God to understand why we either or do not do certain things that we should or shouldn’t. We also expect the Lord excuse the sin in our life that we are not willing to forsake. Yet we are not willing to expose ourselves to the word of God so that we will grow and change. We are content remaining in our sin. We place unrealistic expectations on the Lord by expecting Him to allow us to live the way we want, when we want. God is holy and He will not tolerate sin, nor does he excuse it. We cannot expect God to let us live like we want after he has saved us. But when we turn to God and say God I am willing to do whatever you want me to do so that I can become more like your Son, then God’s expectations become our expectations, and not vise-a-versa.
The problem that arises is that we expect God to change us by reading the Bible, but we never put in the effort ourselves, i.e. studying the Bible so the only one reasoning, Isaiah 1:18, is God. So with that said, let me ask you a question, do you have certain expectations that you have placed on God, and because you believe that God hasn’t met them, you’re upset with God? You might not display directly at God, but you do display it. Maybe it’s displayed with the way you treat others, your spouse, or your children, your co-workers, church family or fill in the blank.
This is a familiar story, but would you please turn to Numbers 13:25-33. Israel had set their expectations in such a way that they thought they would just go into the promise land, the people would say “Oh you’re God’s chosen people, take our land, and by the way, what else can we do for you, how can we serve you?” It didn’t exactly go that way. In fact, it went quite the opposite way
Numbers 13:25 – 33
Numbers 13:25 And they returned from searching of the land after forty days.
Numbers 13:26 And they went and came to Moses, and to Aaron, and to all the congregation of the children of Israel, unto the wilderness of Paran, to Kadesh; and brought back word unto them, and unto all the congregation, and shewed them the fruit of the land.
Numbers 13:27 And they told him, and said, We came unto the land whither thou sentest us, and surely it floweth with milk and honey; and this is the fruit of it.
Numbers 13:28 Nevertheless the people be strong that dwell in the land, and the cities are walled, and very great: and moreover we saw the children of Anak there.
Numbers 13:29 The Amalekites dwell in the land of the south: and the Hittites, and the Jebusites, and the Amorites, dwell in the mountains: and the Canaanites dwell by the sea, and by the coast of Jordan.
Numbers 13:30 And Caleb stilled the people before Moses, and said, Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it.
Numbers 13:31 But the men that went up with him said, We be not able to go up against the people; for they are stronger than we.
Numbers 13:32 And they brought up an evil report of the land which they had searched unto the children of Israel, saying, The land, through which we have gone to search it, is a land that eateth up the inhabitants thereof; and all the people that we saw in it are men of a great stature.
Numbers 13:33 And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.
So now let’s bring that to today. In what way do you do the same thing? You pray for something and you expect God to meet your prayer request immediately. But if God doesn’t meet your request immediately, you get mad or worried or, fill in the blank. You may not display it outwardly, but in your heart you have set up an idol of expectation that you want God to meet.
Look back at Lamentations 3:37-41. In verse 37 the Bible says this.
Lamentations 3:37 Who is he that saith, and it cometh to pass, when the Lord commandeth it not?
Lamentations 3:38 Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good?
Lamentations 3:39 Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins?
Lamentations 3:40 Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD.
Lamentations 3:41 Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens.
Matthew Henry wrote concerning this verse
A man’s heart devises his way; he projects and purposes; he says that he will do so and so; but the Lord directs his steps far otherwise then he designed them, and what he contrived and expected does not come to pass, unless it be what God’s hand and his counsel had been determined before to be done.
Proverbs 16: 9 A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.
Jeremiah 10: 23 O LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.
As I said earlier, what we have done is erected idols in our heart in the form of expectations, and when they are not meet to our satisfaction we complain. When we do this, we try to reduce God a genie in the bottle type of God. Only there to grant our every wish, regardless of what it is. When those expectations aren’t met, we say God why have did you let this happen. Or on the other side of that, when something we don’t want to happen happens, we say, God, why didn’t you stop this from happening?
Turn to Job 2:9-10, and then to 40:1-14.
Job 2:9-10
Job 2:9 Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.
Job 2:10 But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips.
Job 40:1 – 14
Job 40:1 Moreover the LORD answered Job, and said,
Job 40:2 Shall he that contendeth with the Almighty instruct him? he that reproveth God, let him answer it.
Job 40:3 Then Job answered the LORD, and said,
Job 40:4 Behold, I am vile; what shall I answer thee? I will lay mine hand upon my mouth.
Job 40:5 Once have I spoken; but I will not answer: yea, twice; but I will proceed no further.
Job 40:6 Then answered the LORD unto Job out of the whirlwind, and said,
Job 40:7 Gird up thy loins now like a man: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.
Job 40:8 Wilt thou also disannul my judgment? wilt thou condemn me, that thou mayest be righteous?
Job 40:9 Hast thou an arm like God? or canst thou thunder with a voice like him?
Job 40:10 Deck thyself now with majesty and excellency; and array thyself with glory and beauty.
Job 40:11 Cast abroad the rage of thy wrath: and behold every one that is proud, and abase him.
Job 40:12 Look on every one that is proud, and bring him low; and tread down the wicked in their place.
Job 40:13 Hide them in the dust together; and bind their faces in secret.
Job 40:14 Then will I also confess unto thee that thine own right hand can save thee.
The only expectations that we should have are those to do the Master’s will, and we should be guided by the Lord’s desires. God is God! He does not exist to meet our every whim and desire. He is not a God to serve us the way we want or to be served according to our will. When we are in a situation that seems bad to us, we must not question God on why this is happening, but be like Job, and not charge God foolishly. What we must do is allow God to work his perfect will in our lives, without complaining.
Look at Lamentations 3:32 -36
Lamentations 3:32 But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies.
Lamentations 3:33 For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men.
Lamentations 3:34 To crush under his feet all the prisoners of the earth,
Lamentations 3:35 To turn aside the right of a man before the face of the most High,
Lamentations 3:36 To subvert a man in his cause, the Lord approveth not.
God does not take pleasure in causing grief and affliction, but it is for our benefit when this does happen, because God is using it to conform us to the image of his son. So what do we do when this happens? We are quick to complain instead of looking at what we are going through, and saying, how can I please God in this, and how can I grow as a result of this. So what we have done when we do this is we have tried to get out of the trial, and complained all the way, instead of going through the trial and learning how to serve God in a way that pleases him as a result of the trial. We have no right to complain, even if the trial we are going through is not a result of sin. Because complaining is sin. So why do we complain? Well how about this? Parents, the next time one of children sins and you tell them what their punishment will be, let them complain and then say, you know, you’re right. I shouldn’t punish you for that sin, okay, I won’t. Would we do that? So why would we expect the Lord to do that? I know why, it’s because you and I do exactly just that. We complain and that’s okay, but others like our children, spouse, co-workers, church members, etc. shouldn’t. Okay, I get your point, is what you are probably thinking. So what do I do then when I am in that kind of situation? You’ve made it clear on what I shouldn’t do, but what should I do when in that kind of situation? I’m glad you asked. The Bible itself tells us what to do and how to do it. Look in verses 40 and 41 of Lamentations 3.
Lamentations 3:40 Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD.
Lamentations 341 Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens.
The first that we have to do is search and try our ways. We do this by comparing how we are acting and just what expectations we have to what the word of God says concerning our walk. If we are complaining, we need to put that off and turn again to the Lord. If we turn again to the Lord that means at one point we were not going in the same direction as the Lord. We were going in a direction of our own choosing. Which direction are you going in? Are you going your own way expecting God to understand and conform to what you want? Are you complaining about the trials that are going on o your life and expecting God to take them away because you don’t want to be in them? How would you answer the question, what did you expect?