Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage

By Michael W. Larsen

20 August 2006
Adult Education Hour
Luke 16:18

 

Introduction:

“Divorce is the dissolution of a marriage. As we have seen, a marriage exists when there has been a sexual union within the context of a covenantal oath (Mal. 2:14). When that covenant is violated, then the marriage itself has been violated. A marriage does not exist simply because a couple has become one flesh.   A marriage exists when a hetero-sexual… relationship has been sanctified with an oath. So then, marriage requires that a couple become one flesh, but it also requires a covenantal oath. This helps us understand why God hates divorce. "For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce…" (Mal. 2:16a). God hates divorce because a central purpose of the marriage covenant is to produce godly offspring (Mal. 2:15). Divorce squanders the opportunity that parents have to train up godly children before the Lord. In addition, because divorce is a violation of the marriage covenant, God hates the falsehood involved. He is a covenant-keeping God, and He hates the slander of covenants which faithlessness in marriages involves.”

 

God has only one plan for marriage and that is outlined in Genesis 2:24, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." This plan has been followed as long as man has existed and is reiterated in the words of our Lord Jesus Christ and his apostles.

 

Marriage is a permanent covenant. Yet although God's plan is permanent, man's nature is in rebellion against God; therefore in this study we must also talk about the practice of divorce and remarriage.

 

There are basically four interpretations regarding divorce and remarriage:

1.       No divorce, no remarriage

2.       Divorce, but no remarriage

3.       Divorce and remarriage for adultery and desertion

4.       Divorce and remarriage for a variety of reasons.

 

In this lesson we will see that God does not approve of divorce or remarriage. It is also the conviction of our Pastor that God does not approve of divorce or remarriage.

 

 

Church Fathers

First, let us consider the writings of the Church Fathers. The understanding of the early church leaders.  

Basically the Church Fathers are "unanimous in their understanding that Christ and Paul taught that if one were to suffer the misfortune of divorce, remarriage was not permitted, regardless of the cause". 

 

Scholars contend that in the first five centuries all Greek writers and all Latin writers except one agree that remarriage following divorce for any reason is adulterous.

The main reason to consider the Church Fathers is to bring to light the fact that they believed almost unanimously that the Bible teaches the indissolubility of the marriage union. If marriage is indissoluble, then remarriage, except in the case where the scripture permits it (death only), is not an option if one is divorced.

 

Even in our own country divorce was pretty much illegal until the modern age.  It was in my lifetime that we saw the concept of “no fault” divorce.  This makes divorce easy.  You don’t even have a reason to blame one another.  Penn. became the last state to allow “no fault divorce” and that was in 1980.  Yes our laws, written from our Christian heritage, used to treat marriage as a very serious covenant in deed.

 

How about your wedding vows?  Did you vow, “Till death do us part”?  Why did you do that?  (You did it because that has been the real definition of marriage from the beginning!)

 

Did you mean it?  Was it a binding covenant?  Of course it was.

 

What does the Bible say?

 

Is divorce or remarriage between two believers in the Lord Jesus Christ an option?

 

First let’s put into context the teachings of Christ in relation to the practices of the people of that day.  There were 2 basic trains of thought being promoted by the religious leaders.  One was that there could be divorce and re-marriage for just about any reason at all.  The other was that there could be divorce only if there was adultery.  Then let’s not forget that they were in the land of the Herod’s where incest was being practiced even by Herod himself.  In fact that is why John the Baptist was imprisoned if you recall.  He informed Herod that it was wrong to marry his brother’s wife.  Leviticus 18 considers sex with or marrying close relatives unlawful and is not allowed yet it was happening in that area. 

 

Jesus answered the divorce and remarriage question very clearly and that is where we will get the primary teaching on this subject. 

 

Luke 16:18

 

This verse shows that Jesus does not recognize divorce as terminating a marriage in God’s sight.  The reason a second marriage is called adultery is because the first one is considered to still be valid. So Jesus is taking a stand against the Jewish culture in which all divorce was considered to carry with it the right of remarriage.

The second half of the verse shows that not merely the divorcing man is guilty of adultery when he remarries, but also any man who marries a divorced woman.  So even the woman whom the man divorced cannot be remarried without causing her 2nd husband to commit adultery.

Since there are no exceptions mentioned in the verse, and since Jesus is clearly rejecting the common cultural conception of divorce as including the right of remarriage, the first readers of this gospel would have been hard-put to argue for any exceptions on the basis that Jesus shared the cultural assumption that divorce for unfaithfulness or desertion freed a spouse for remarriage.

 

Mark 10:11-12

 

This text repeats the first half of Luke 16:18 but goes farther and says that not only the man who divorces, but also a woman who divorces, and then remarries is committing adultery.

As in Luke 16:18, there are no exceptions mentioned to this rule.

Mark 10:2-9 and Mat 19:3-8

 

The Pharisees evidently had Deut 24:1 in mind when they came asking Jesus the question trying to tempt or trick him.  Deut 24:1is where the Mosaic law allowed divorce, however, Jesus clarified the teaching;

 

“It was because of the hardness of their hearts that Moses allowed that but from the beginning it was not so..

 

and Jesus rejected them using it to justify their practice of divorce by taking them to the deepest and original intention for marriage, the 2 passages in Genesis. 

 

 

The implication here is that Jesus rejects the Pharisees’ use of Duet 24:1 and raises the standard of marriage for His disciples to God’s original intention in Creation.

 

Mat 19:9 and 5:32

 

Here we have what is known as the “exception clause” I want to cover this sentence of scripture next week but notice the passage in Luke and Mark do not include this exception.  Before we jump to the conclusion that we need to qualify the absolute statements of Luke and Mark with this exception clause, “except for fornication”, we need to consider if the exception clause should instead be understood in light of the absolute statements in Luke and Mark.  We will dig into this clause next week but I did not want you to think I was ignoring it.

 

Mal 2:16         The Lord hates divorce

 

1 Cor 7:10-11

 

Here Paul is teaching what He heard Jesus teach and that is do not divorce and do not remarry.  (Mark 10:11-12) He says do not divorce.  If you do divorce then stay single or be reconciled to your husband.  Why?  Because if you remarry you commit adultery.

 

Now Paul appears to be aware that in some cases divorce is going to happen.  Maybe he has in mind brutality or desertion or some other reason, but if it does, the instruction is to stay single or reconcile to your spouse.

 

 

What if a believer is married to an unbeliever?

 

1 Cor 7:12-16

 

This passage tells us that the believer is not to leave their unbelieving spouse. 

 

“Not under bondage” in verse 15 means they are not bound to serve the departed spouse.  The word used here is Douloo and it means serve or be in subjection. The believing spouse is also not under the bondage of guilt either as to the unbelieving spouse leaving.

 

The word in this verse is not the same word Paul uses in verse 39 where Paul makes it clear that a spouse is bound for life.  As well as in Romans 7:2  That word is Deo and it means to knit, tie wind.  In these versus it becomes clear that the only acceptable way to dissolve the marriage covenant is by the death of your spouse.

 

They are not bound to fight to save their marriage either apparently thus the statement that God has called us to peace. 1 Cor 7:15

 

“Not under bondage” in verse 15 cannot mean free to remarry however since that would contradict with verse 11.

 

1 Cor 7:27-28

This text does not teach the right of divorced persons to remarry. It teaches that betrothed virgins should seriously consider the life of singleness, but do not sin if they marry.

Recently some people have argued that this passage deals with divorced people because in verse 27 Paul asks, "Are you free (literally: loosed) from a wife?" Some have assumed that he means, "Are you divorced?" Thus he would be saying in verse 28 that it is not sin when divorced people remarry. There are several reasons why this interpretation is most unlikely.

§         Verse 25 signals that Paul is beginning a new section and dealing with a new issue. He says, "Now concerning the virgins (ton parthenon) I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy." He has already dealt with the problem of divorced people in verses 10-16. Now he takes up a new issue about those who are not yet married, and he signals this by saying, "Now concerning the virgins." Therefore, it is very unlikely that the people referred to in verses 27 and 28 are divorced.

§         A flat statement that it is not sin for divorced people to be remarried (verse 28) would contradict verse ll, where he said that a woman who has separated from her husband should remain single.

§         Verse 36 is surely describing the same situation in view in verses 27 and 28, but clearly refers to a couple that is not yet married. "If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his virgin, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin." This is the same as verse 28 where Paul says, "But if you marry, you do not sin."

§         The reference in verse 27 to being bound to a "wife" may be misleading because it may suggest that the man is already married. But in Greek the word for wife is simply "woman" and may refer to a man's betrothed as well as his spouse. The context dictates that the reference is to a man's betrothed virgin, not to his spouse. So "being bound" and "being loosed" have reference to whether a person is betrothed or not.

§         It is significant that the verb Paul uses for "loosed" (luo) or "free" is not a word that he uses for divorce. Paul's words for divorce are chorizo (verses 10,11,15; cf. Matthew 19:6) and aphienai (verses 11,12,13).