Multiplying Fruitfully
By Brother Michael W. Larsen
13 August 2006
Adult Education Hour
Psalm 127:3-5
"The Lord offers to bless us with much in our children, and to whom much is given, much is required"
The Blessing of Children
Is Scripture silent on birth control?
Yes and No
Yes - you won't find it mentioned in a concordance.
No - birth control seeks to regulate the number of children in a family, and the Bible has a lot to say about children.
Biblically, children are either a blessing or a curse
§ Our culture has a bad attitude towards children (inconvenience, abortion, etc.).
The Bible contradicts this: Psalm 127: 3-5.
§ Christians run the other way from the culture and think they're an unqualified blessing.
The Bible contradicts this also: Proverbs 17:25.
"When children are brought up in the Lord, and they walk with Him when they are grown, the blessing this brings to parents is unspeakable. And the more this happens, the better it is. Large, obedient families are a blessing. But when the children are disobedient, the more there are, the worse it is." 1 Sam 8:3 Samual would not have been more blessed if he had 5 sons that took bribes versus just 2
Psalm mentions that our children are our reward. You can have a good reward or a bad reward based on how you raise them. It also mentions that they are as arrows in the hand of a mighty man. If your children are all crooked and perverse then how blessed are those arrows? Will they hit the mark? Will they help you in the fight? No. If they are good arrows and straight then they are useful to the cause and can be counted on at the time of need etc.
They can be a blessing or a curse
What does it take to have a large number of children? All it takes is a mature male and a mature female. What does it take for a large blessing? Receiving the blessing the Bible associates with a large family requires a great deal more than the simple biological capacity for reproduction. A commitment to the blessing of a large family means that a man must also be committed to love, hard work, thoughtfulness, self-sacrifice, tenderness, and discipline over a period of many years.
The two temptations with the issue of birth control
Temptation #1 - never use birth control, and perhaps bite off more than you can chew.
§ What if you’re a wife has a medical condition that makes spacing children out a matter of life and death?
§ Or by spacing them out you will be able to have more than you could if you did not space them out?
§ What if your wife does not have the capacity (mental or physical) to handle 6 or 7 children?
§ What if you cannot adequately care for a large number of children – food, education, medical attention, etc.
The temptation here is to take the position of NEVER under any circumstances NEVER EVER use any form of birth control or family planning considerations.
"Some husbands think they have a commitment to the biblical view of family just because they are male, opinionated, and dislike condoms. These are the men who are headed for grief (in the form of fools for sons)..." Their motives are all wrong! They are selfish in this case. They claim to be standing on a principal but they are really not. They are standing on self-centeredness.
Psalm 127 refers to grown sons - the product of much work by the father (and mother).
Don't build a tower unless you have the resources to complete it Jesus said. If there is folly in beginning to build a tower without counting the cost and ensuring you can complete it, then how much more the folly is not having the resources, ability, or commitment to build the lives of your own family!
You should have as many children that God gives you that you can raise in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Not how many you expect the church to raise, or the school to raise, or society to raise. The number you will raise properly that will rise up and call you blessed!
Temptation #2 - always use birth control, and resist the blessings of the family.
§ The World at large pressures people to limit their family size even to avoid children all together. If you have more than 2 you get the snide comments, “Don’t you know what causes that”?
§ That attitude comes from the Humanistic view that we are overpopulating, over-polluting, and destroying the earth.
§ It also comes from a self-centered position of living for self, (I want my career first etc.) Many woman defer children until they have achieved success in the business world then find out it is too late. If they have had an abortion along the way to not hinder their career they have a higher probability of not being able to bear children regardless of their age.
§ They also deny that God is in control and has Soverenty over this life.
It would be sin for the Christian to hearken to the voice of the world and decide, for earthly or self-centered reasons, not to have ANY children. This denies God’s leading and causes you to miss out on God’s blessing of children.
To have a biblical family requires commitment
• You may ask, "Is it better not to have children?"
• No - it is better to accept the Biblical teaching that children are a blessing, but they must be raised properly or they will become a curse.
The Long Run
"Trusting God" in family planning requires commitment
• By not using birth control, a husband may find himself with four pre-school children and one wife with second thoughts.
Husbands/Fathers should ease the pain of parenting
Here's how to survive.
Husbands should encourage their wives by:
1. Helping with the kids, not acting like a kid himself, watch the troops so the wife can get away once a week, hiring a regular baby sitter
2. Being sensitive to how he approaches her sexually (she's got demands placed on her all day long)
3. Teach his wife to look for the long-term blessing - initially, kids consume way more than they produce, but that will change over time
4. Don't mock those who God has blessed with children - make life easier
5. Honoring a pregnant woman - it's God's blessing - Prov 31:28
6. Clothe her properly and well – Understand she may feel “frumpy” in her childbearing years.
7. Don't assume that God will not provide for you if you act responsibly and in faith - He is in perfect control. "Christians who use birth control must not do so because they accept the lies of pagans who have a low view of children"
8. Keep your wife encouraged, pray for her, hold, comfort, counsel and teach from God's word, make it obvious that she is loved
So What About Birth Control?
Certain forms of birth control are prohibited by the Bible
"Thou shalt not murder" - Ex. 20:13
Infanticide and abortion
Morning after pills, IUD - devices which prevent the implantation of a fertilized egg
These forms of birth control unlawfully take a human life after it has begun.
What about other forms of birth control?
More traditional "pills", spacing the number of children, limiting their number
There is nothing that says the act of using birth control is in itself unlawful, but....
Using birth control can be sinful in its application and motivation
• This comes from a Biblical understanding of the family.
It comes down to a question of motivations and attitudes.
Ungodly example: kids are a hassle, careers are going great, there's overpopulation, and we can go off the pill later. This is a sinful and rebellious attitude children are a major blessing and miracle from God.
Godly example: God has given us six kids, and they're a delight...but we are thinking of using birth control because it's getting harder and harder to provide them with the care God requires - we're having trouble feeding them, and tuition costs (or home school costs) aren't going to get any lower. This is a thankful and biblical attitude.
Onan example (Genesis 3 :8-10) is often cited - God judges an act of birth control. But it was his motivations that God was judging - he was deliberately trying to rob his deceased brother of his offspring.
Onan’s motivation doesn't seem to be the same motivation as a couple who is practicing birth control to maximize the number of children they can have (spacing the children out for health reasons), or so they can adequately care and financially provide for additional children. (unless they are underestimating God's ability to provide)
So, what's the bottom line?
Whether or not birth control is right depends largely on motivations.
A Christian couple using birth control should not necessarily assume they're in the right, but should examine their use of birth control in light of the clear Biblical teaching that children are a gift from God and that one purpose of marriage is childbearing.
Church elders should not categorically ban birth control,
Parents are stewards before God - God entrusts children to them.
Parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) - the one who got in trouble wasn't the one who only doubled his two talents - it was the one who didn't use his talents at all.
Malachi 2:15 - ..”Because he was seeking godly offspring."
"Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the use of birth control is sinful. So it is wrong to say that it is. The Bible does consistently say that children are a blessing from the Lord. And it is a sin to say or act as though they are not."