By Brother Mike Larsen
07 May 2006
Sunday School
Ephesians 5:22-33, Rev. 21:9-14, 24-27
Introduction: We will be covering the topic of Marriage with a study using the Book, “Reforming Marriage” by Douglas Wilson. Since God instituted Marriage we will be looking at Marriage from the Biblical perspective. (There is no other way to look at marriage)
I have been married to my wife Dawn for 20 years. We were married on August 9, 1985 at 7:30 PM on a Friday evening in land of our upbringing, San Diego, CA. (put your hand over your heart when you say that!)
Marriage is absolutely wonderful when you do it God’s way. I have seen marriages that seem to be as close to Hell as you could get on this earth when not done God’s way! The choice is yours, which is the beauty o fit all. You can have a fulfilling marriage.
For Dawn and I it began with a commitment that success would be measured by a life long happy marriage. That was one the ways we would measure success. Not whether she would be the office manager at work or I would be the President of Xerox. We would put our energy into doing our very best at work for sure but regardless of that success we would have a life long happy marriage.
Marriage is in trouble in America today. It has been in trouble in Europe for many years but now marriage is under an all out attack in the USA. Divorce is easy and encouraged, even in the church! In fact some statistics show that the divorce rate may be higher for evangelicals than for atheists! The homosexual crowd uses the heterosexual divorce rate and out of wedlock birthrate to make a case that they could do better. Part of their argument in debates is that we have messed it up so who are we to judge.
We need to get serious about marriage in the USA! God’s plan for marriage is perfect. We are the problem!
Union (usually legally sanctioned) of 2 people for the purpose of declaring a family unit or heightening relationship.
§ A fun temporary arrangement – Like dating.
The dating model is a practice ground for divorce. People “go steady”. The get in a fight and break up. Then they do it again with another. They are not happy and they break up. They do this 4 or 5 times with different people. Then they get married. They get in an argument or aren’t happy. All they know to do is run by breaking up so they break up. Except now it is divorce. Our model of dating is all wrong. Young people, do not get emotionally attached to somebody until you are old enough to do something about it without sinning! Marriage age! Then give your heart and your body to the one who will be your spouse. You see when you give your heart or body to others prior to your spouse it affects your future relationship. It is a sin and the principal of sowing and reaping applies.
The world says try lots of different people and peer pressure expects you to be immoral.
The godly approach is to get to know lots of different people for who they are. Keep yourself in a position of accountability like group settings and really get to know the person or people. Commit to keep yourself pure until marriage and earnestly seek God to make it clear which person is to be your spouse.
§ The next step to social credibility or growing up
It’s what people do etc
§ People should not get married, just live together.
It is a financial arrangement to help pay the rent/mortgage. That way you have the freedom to live your life the way you want to live it. It’s not forever anyway so why mess with the paperwork. As a result of this thinking if they do get married they don’t want to change their name. Too costly to change it back, especially 3 times!.
o It is funny how a woman refuses to take her husbands name because she thinks it makes her independent. So she keeps another mans name. Her Father’s!
§ From an “earthly” perspective; it is ordained by God as the founding relationship of the family. Other ordained institutions are government and church. Gen 2:18-24
All of creation was good but at this point something was NOT good.
§ From a “spiritual” perspective; the husband’s relationship to his wife is analogous to Christ’s relationship to the church, so marriage is intended to show us how God relates to His people. It is a deeply serious commitment before the Lord, intended to last until the death of one of the partners or until Christ returns. (read Eph 5:22-33)
You can see here that we are members of Christ’s body. Christ left the father and took a Bride. We became part of his “flesh”. Marriage is designed to show that picture. The man leaves his Father and mother and takes a bride or “joins” with her and the 2 shall become one flesh. It is a beautiful picture of and the church. God takes this very serious.
The health of all relationships in the home are dependent on the marriage relationship between the Husband and the Wife. That relationship is the “Aroma” of the home.
§ A godly marriage occurs when two people earnestly seek God’s direction and guidance (causing them to marry the right person or being in God’s will concerning the matter) and those 2 people are ultimately focused on Him.
Christ comes first in both individuals’ lives
o We can do all things through Christ not ourselves
Maturity in the Faith is required for a mature marriage.
o We need to understand the Heart is the issue and not an outward act
o We need to love our spouse but not more than God 1st commandment
§ The Nature of Marriage is Covenantal
Marital relationship is analogous to God’s relationship with his people (Christ’s
relationship with the church) – Rev. 21: 9-14 and 24-27
The two become one flesh; no longer purely two individuals, but one couple